To be honest I have no idea where my life is going. I am independent but never assured. I formulated a plan, only to realize that most plans never work. I've learned to be optimistic, just in time to see that hope gets people falling harder. To be honest, I fell in love.. Only to find out that not everything is about love.. that love is insignificant. I've grown, quite accustomed to lies actually.. That right now, maybe only the truth can make me feel the comfort I once knew. I am out of reasons to stay. I don't know if I still have a place to go back to, or if he ever told me the truth. I wonder why looking at her picture makes me feel uneasy. I wonder why looking at their picture together didn't get the reaction I expected. I wonder why I still think of that everytime I think of him, even if it happened perhaps a million years ago. I hold on because I am desperate for a reason.. I hold on even as I lack trust, because it's the only thing that keeps me going. If the circumstances were any different I wonder if we would have held on as we are right now. If I never left, if he found me constantly by his side would he have held on for so long? Or was I convenient because I was never around? Am I a dead star? Sometimes I wonder why I make everything so complicated. Sometimes I wonder why I even think too much
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