This blog is closing. I am opening a private one :P

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Lola Onyang (my 'other grandmother - 90 something years old) passed away. I don't know how to feel really. I never knew who she was. And.. the last couple times I've seen her, she couldn't really remember who I am. It's just so sad. The worst part is, Tita Edna, the daughter who took care of her wasn't even beside her when she passed. None of her children were there. =/

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My graduation ceremony is in a week. I haven't paid my final school bill yet. And I don't really feel like I've accomplished anything. But yeah.. it might be fun. We'll see. I wonder what I look like with the cap and gown.. Haha.

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My family is reaching out. They went to my workplace just to get me to go back there to visit. I think it's premature. I'm just not ready. They even said I have a traffic ticket I need to get.. (Is it even real? I'm like the most careful driver around) Am I ever gonna be ready? It took a lot for me to escape the toxicity in that house. I know I haven't done anything great enough to be praised, maybe that's what scares me. I want to live in secret.. I want my failures to remain unknown. The fact of the matter is, I am doing everything without their help.. I am doing just fine. I will go there when I'm ready.

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I am moving in with RJ and his family. It took a lot of thought but I am gonna give it a try. They took care of me when I was sick. This takes an awful lot of getting used to but I will give it a try. I don't want to believe that the whole concept of 'family' doesn't exist. I have to try.

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Check back if you want to know more.

I got sick two weeks ago, and I didn't know what it was at first. I thought I would feel better if I rested some more. Four days after, I still had a really high fever.. I was coughing up blood, and I couldn't really sleep at night cause I couldn't breathe.. So finally, I decided to go see a doctor. Turns out, I had bronchitis. So I had to confine myself to my bed the rest of the week. That meant I couldn't work, that meant I didn't get paid the rest of the week, that meant big trouble. But.. Thank God I was in good hands. I could not have gotten better if it weren't for the guy who took care of me. He made sure I was drinking my meds on time, made sure I was eating enough fruits and such, bought meds, massaged my back, cooked soup.. and basically just stayed. It is a really big deal for me. It made me realize a lot of things. And for now, I am calling it as I see it. I am happy.:)